Long time, no see! It is great to be together again during this Christmas weekend to celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family. As I pondered the passage about Mary and Joseph searching for Jesus and finding Him in the temple, I couldn’t help but think of the movie, Home Alone. As we continue in the Christmas season, I still have Christmas movies on my mind. Home Alone is one that came out during my childhood in the 90s and I have enjoyed watching it ever since.
As I’ve gotten older and seen it through adult eyes, I have come to recognize that the heart of Home Alone’s story is the relationship between Kevin and his mother. We start out the movie with them being at a breaking point with each other. They have exchanged some really nasty words, and before they have the chance to apologize to each other, his mom has flown with the rest of the family to Paris, while Kevin is left home alone.
Catherine O’Hara, who played Kevin’s mom, did such a lovely job portraying her doggedness to get back to her son. From the moment she realizes they have left Kevin at home, Kate McCallister is an absolute force of nature. Nothing will prevent her from getting back to her son. She spends almost the entire movie in airports and in the back of a truck with a Polka band in order to be reunited with Kevin. While they were separated, she realized how she had failed to love him as she should have. So when they are first reunited, her first words to him after wishing him Merry Christmas are, “Oh Kevin, I’m so sorry.” Their embrace at the end of the movie is a beautiful moment of reconciliation.
So we see another separation of mother and child in the Gospel reading today, but one which doesn’t involve the failure of the mother. Mary and Joseph are looking everywhere for Jesus. When they find Him, Mary asks: “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” Mary admits that she and Joseph had great anxiety, but how can we understand that anxiety in light of the fact that Mary had a completely sinless, innocent heart and that Joseph was a saintly man who put his trust in God? How would these two people experience anxiety?
I think if we dig a bit deeper, we can understand where this anxiety came from. The answer, I believe, comes more into focus when we consider the words St. Paul was inspired to write to families in his letter to the Colossians, which we heard in the second reading:
Brothers and sisters: Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body.
This encouragement from St. Paul paints a picture of what family life is supposed to look like: a place where the virtues flourish and where forgiveness comes quickly. Families are that fundamental unit of society, and it is here that we are called to experience love, “the bond of perfection,” as St. Paul calls it. I am certain that the life that Jesus, Mary and Joseph shared together as the Holy Family was a burning furnace of love, a place where virtues shone forth in abundance. Jesus and Mary were radiant in their purity and Joseph gave his heart to them with great love, asking for forgiveness promptly, I’m sure, whenever he fell short. They enjoyed a family life that God has used as a model for all of our families. The Holy Family was and is a place where holiness shines forth through hearts fully set on their mission to love.
So the anxiety that I imagine filled the hearts of our Blessed Mother and St. Joseph, her loving spouse, was not a sinful anxiety, but a holy one. I believe that their anxiety was to be reunited with their Son so they could continue fulfilling their call to love and nurture Him. They never stopped fulfilling that mission. Even when they were physically far from Jesus, I am sure their hearts remained closely united to Him. In His wisdom, the Father allowed them to have that physical separation so they could be models for us of how to have “holy anxiety” for our mission. Although Mary and Joseph were separated from Jesus by no fault of their own, we often get separated from Jesus through our sins. We allow less important things to distract us from the fundamental importance of loving those God has given us to love and thus fulfilling the mission He has given us. Just like Kevin’s mom in Home Alone, sometimes we find ourselves failing in our call to love those in our lives. But when we have this realization, God gives us the grace to have holy anxiety to get back to our mission, like the eagerness of Kevin’s mom to get back to him and shower him with her love.
The temptations are real for every one of us, regardless of our state in life. For all of you young people, God has given you time to prepare your heart to give yourself to others in your future vocation; whether to a spouse and children through marriage, or to the service of others in the Church through a priestly or religious vocation. But it is so easy to be distracted from growing in holiness by social media, sports, and even friends. Never forget that those good things are secondary to the most important thing–your relationship to God! Parents who are already in your vocation, you know well the things that threaten to draw you away from your primary call to love each other and your children. Don’t let work, hobbies, or even friends and family members distract you. God the Father has abundant grace to help you strive to put Him first and allow Him to form you as a holy spouse and parent. And please pray for me and all priests, that we too would be open to God’s grace to form us into selfless spiritual fathers who resist the temptation to put accomplishments, work, our own interests, or any other thing above the spiritual wellbeing of our flocks.
Praise God for giving us Jesus, Mary and Joseph as intercessors and examples of holiness. Jesus is our Source of grace, and Mary and Joseph are interceding for each of us right now, praying that we would grow in attentiveness to the mission of love the Father has given to each of us. God the Father allowed Mary and Joseph to be accidentally separated from Jesus so that we could have a glimpse into their hearts and see their “holy anxiety,” that constant eagerness to fulfill their mission. They may have felt like they were not fulfilling that mission as they looked for Jesus among their relatives and acquaintances, but in reality their hearts were still right where God the Father needed them to be, set on loving God and others. Unfortunately, if we’re honest, we are all too familiar with our own sinful ways that allow us to actually be put off track from our mission. Let us turn now to the Holy Family, leaning into the powerful prayers of Mary and Joseph and the grace of Jesus so we can be more and more filled with their “holy anxiety,” that eagerness to fulfill our mission.
+ Jesus, Mary and Joseph, thank you for giving us hope that our families can be places where we answer the call to love. Joseph and Mary, pray for us so that we may be anxious to fulfill the call to love through the abundant grace of your Son, Jesus. Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us such great examples of faith in Mary and Joseph and for blessing our families through their intercession. Thank you for your wisdom in sending your Son to us through the care of the Holy Family. Jesus, thank you for always being obedient to the Father and your earthly parents. Give us Your grace so that we might imitate Your perfect obedience. Holy Spirit, help us with your grace to turn away from those things which draw us away from our mission to love. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen. +