Let’s invite the Holy Spirit to work in us: + Come, Holy Spirit. +
One particular scene has always stuck with me from the fantastic made-for-TV movie, Karol: A Man Who Became Pope. As you may have guessed from its title, the movie focuses on the life of Karol Wojtyla, from his time as a young man until he was eventually elected Pope and took the name John Paul II. Interestingly, though, the scene that I’m thinking of doesn’t involve Karol Wojtyla at all. The backdrop of the whole movie is the heroic struggle of the Catholic clergy in Poland against first the Nazis and then the Communists.
There is an amazing scene where a Polish bishop squares off against a high ranking officer of the Communists. They have come to the bishop’s residence to arrest him. Throughout the encounter, he is calm and collected. They try to get him to sign a bogus document admitting wrongdoing and he refuses. Finally, the Communist officer commands him to gather his things, because he is under arrest. The bishop stands up, grabs his rosary and his prayer book (called a breviary) and puts on his coat, saying, “I’m ready.” The Communist looks at him and says, “Aren’t you going to take anything with you?” To which he replies, “I came poor to this house and poor I shall leave it.” Wow!
If I’m honest, putting myself in the shoes of that bishop, I would have at least packed a bag with some important items. But that is because I still have a long way to go toward the holy detachment that this bishop showed. Right now at the rectory, I have a whole drawer full of t-shirts that I never wear! I keep them purely for sentimental reasons. It is very easy to become too attached to things that are not God, but that is exactly what Jesus is challenging us to resist in the Gospel reading today.
His words today should remind us of the fact that Jesus was not always nice. One of the big misconceptions in people’s minds today about Jesus is that He was just the ultimate ‘nice guy.’ But when a person says that you have to hate your father, mother and relatives in order to follow Him, those don’t sound like very nice words. They are actually pretty shocking. The point is, Jesus wasn’t just one to “go along to get along.” That is what a “nice guy” does–he walks on eggshells, avoids offending people, and just tries to be everyone’s friend. Not Jesus. His actions today remind us that the ultimate virtue of Christian living isn’t niceness. We teach children to “be nice,” but as adults, there is much more to life than niceness. The ultimate virtue of Christian living is love: a virtue which helps us to be kind, but not always nice. Kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit; niceness is a fruit of modern psychology.
So what are we to make of the very un-nice things Jesus says today? How can we reconcile His command to hate our father and mother with the fourth commandment to honor our father and mother? Well, first of all, we need to clarify that Jesus is not using the term hate in an unkind way. He uses this term in a figure of speech that doesn’t translate to English very well. By saying “hate,” Jesus is telling us not to give our parents first priority in our hearts.
It’s somewhat like me saying, “I hate rainy days.” It’s not that I actually wish rainy days would cease to exist, it’s that I would prefer sunny days. I hate rainy days in order to give sunny ones first priority in my heart.
But even saying not to give our parents and families first priority is something controversial. It may even strike us as wrong. Conventional wisdom says to put family first. But Jesus knows better. He knows that nothing should come between us and our relationship with God the Father. And I’m sure we can all think of at least some occasions where our parents and families have not helped us live out our relationship with God. How many of us can think of somebody who has idolized a parent or family member, only to have their world shattered when that person fails them? There is a reason that the root word of ‘idolize’ is ‘idol.’ Anything that we raise above God becomes a false god, an idol.
This is why Jesus follows up this difficult saying about hating our family members with His commandment to pick up our cross daily and follow Him. It is only by having holy detachment from the things of this world that we can have our hearts set on God. Detachment doesn’t mean throwing people and things away, it means putting them in their correct place. When we realize that our parents, brothers and sisters aren’t our ultimate Source, we are on the right path. There is pain involved in taking people and things off of those pedestals we’ve built for them, but this pain is for our good. When we join Jesus in picking up our cross, we discover with Him once again the overwhelming love of God on which we can build our lives. The cross is difficult, but rich. Embracing it means living from the sacrificial love of Jesus.
When we pick up our cross, it allows us to stand on God’s grace and love, rather than on the shaky foundation of the people and things in this world which will fail us. And the secret is, when we have that holy detachment that the cross demands, it actually makes our relationships more rich, because it keeps us from substituting people for God. Other people and things are not meant to be the foundation for our lives, and when we try to build on them, we ultimately end up crushing them and hurting ourselves. Only God’s love has the strength to support our entire life. So let’s take these challenging words of our Savior to heart this Sunday, picking up our cross with Him in order to live our lives on the firm foundation of His Love poured out through the cross.
+ Heavenly Father, thank you for reminding us through Your Son not to put anything or anyone before You. Jesus, help us to trust in Your help as we embrace Your Love on the Cross through Holy detachment. Holy Spirit, help our hearts to see that the Cross is the source of Love which will feed all of our relationships and bring us to our true home in Heaven. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen. +