I recently had the privilege of watching on YouTube the testimony of a woman named Kaitlin who is converting from atheism to Catholicism. Her story touched me deeply, not only because I am so grateful she is joining our Catholic family, but also because her story reminded me how God moves in our lives and always seeks us, even when we’re not necessarily seeking Him and even when we are far from him.
Kaitlin tells of how she turned away from God for over a decade because of her disbelief of the stories in the Bible and her fear of Hell and Satan. But even as an atheist, she still had a desire for truth and wrestled with questions about what she really believed regarding death. She struggled with the idea that this life was really all there is. As a person in the public eye on YouTube, she avoided references to the fact that she was atheist. This brought her to question why she was embarrassed to admit this publicly. She relates how little she understood of Jesus’ mercy, sacrifice and forgiveness. She believed in right and wrong as an atheist, but struggled to find a grounding for that conviction apart from God.
The turning point for Kaitlin came through being married to her devout Catholic husband. He made sure they were married in the Church, and throughout their married life he persistently invited her to come to Mass with him. As she put it, after about the 500th time of him asking, she finally took the step of going to Mass with him, begrudgingly. This initial step of going to Mass awakened many important questions about faith, the Church and Christianity, and led her down a road of openness to the truth of Christianity and the relationship with Christ offered by the Church. As of now, her journey has brought her to RCIA, where she is preparing to become Catholic.
Kaitlin’s story is such a beautiful testimony of God encountering her through both the big and small decisions of her life: her decision to get married, her decision to go to Mass with her husband, her decision to ask questions and truly seek answers, and her ongoing decisions to keep learning and growing. I am inspired to see how much God has poured out His grace in Kaitlin’s life through each of these decisions.
In today’s Gospel, we find Simon the fisherman at a point of decision. Simon is living his life, mending his nets after a night of fruitless fishing, and along comes Jesus. He needs a boat. So the first decision Simon has to make is whether or not to listen to Jesus, this seemingly random rabbi who has just hopped into his boat. Although I don’t know for sure, I expect that Simon might have heard about Jesus before this. After all, Jesus was causing enough of a stir in His hometown to make the people want to toss Him off of a cliff. Word about Him must have been spreading. So Simon is faced with this Jesus asking him to take the boat out a short distance so He can speak from it. Simon could’ve just told Jesus to go find another boat, but instead, he does what Jesus asked.
When Jesus is done speaking, He invites Simon to take the boat into deep water for a catch. Simon is clearly very skeptical. He reminds Jesus: “Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.” Simon evidently thinks he is humoring a rabbi with delusions of fishing knowledge, but he makes the decision to put the boat out into the deep and lower his nets. The miraculous, huge catch of fish then convinces Simon that maybe Jesus is more than He appears. It also puts him in a place of humble recognition of his own faults. Simon tells Jesus, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” As we know, Jesus doesn’t depart. Instead, with great mercy and love, He says, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” Jesus invites this simple fisherman to become a fisher of men. He will give him the grace to become a powerful leader in the Church: the first Pope and a martyr! But all of that was to come later. For now, it is enough for Simon to simply follow him. And he does, one decision at a time.
Think of how impactful each of those seemingly small decisions were in the history of the world: to allow Jesus to remain in his boat, to put out into deep water, and to lower his nets. Each of these was a step along the path that led Simon to being an Apostle and great saint. Without knowing it, Simon’s simple decisions to say ‘yes’ to Jesus and cooperate with His grace were a conduit for literally billions of people through the ages to encounter Jesus’ life changing power as well.
Which brings me back to our friend, Kaitlin, whose story we started with today. She likely had no idea what kind of impact her simple decision to finally say ‘yes’ to her husband’s invitation to come to Mass would have on her life. But through that and many other decisions before and since, she opened herself up to God’s work in her heart. Now she’s pregnant and expecting her first child. Think of how much God wants to bless that little one through the faith that is now growing stronger day by day in Kaitlin’s heart! Think about all of the people her faith will touch! It’s a beautiful thing.
God can work powerfully through the simple choices that you will make today. Will you open up your heart to hear how God is inviting you to follow Him today? Will you look for the ways He is calling you to follow him through the things you choose? He can work powerfully even through your simply saying ‘yes’ in one small way today. Ask the Lord to show you what that way is and ask Him to help you say ‘yes.’
+ Heavenly Father, thank you for your grace that is always available to us at every moment. You are so generous to us! Jesus, thank you for inviting us, like Simon, to choose to follow you. Help us to see how you are inviting us to choose your will for us today. Holy Spirit, rid our hearts of the fears and hang-ups that keep us from following Jesus more fully. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen. +