I want to give you a little window into the turnaround in the life of Shayne Smith, a popular comedian, tattoo enthusiast, one-time atheist, and now convert to Catholicism. You may remember that I shared part of his conversion story in a Lenten homily last year. Shayne’s story is beautiful because he gives a living portrait of the parable Jesus tells us in today’s Gospel.
In a YouTube video, Shayne describes how he got to a place in his life where he was living in New York and had it all, but at the same time had nothing. As he puts it: “I had money, I had fame, I had access to pretty much infinite pleasure, I had hobbies, I had everything anyone could want and I was miserable.” And in that state of underlying emptiness, he found a community of politically charged people online and became incredibly involved there. This time period saw him seeking personal happiness above all things, and the more he did, the sadder he became. He went to a lot of therapy and was even prescribed various medications for mental health issues. Looking back on that period, he realized that he had been over-medicating himself and doing a lot of self-reflection, but without any challenge to his worldview or belief system. He continued to spiral. He explains: “I was living in a fantasy, and when you pursue a fantasy, reality becomes the enemy.”
Shayne describes this online community he was deeply involved with in pretty stark terms: “No one is valuable in this community, everyone is equally worthless.” Sounds like a dark place to find your identity! The other thing that began to occur to him was that these people he was surrounding himself with online, who purported to care about serving the poor and underprivileged, weren’t actually doing anything for those groups in real life. And as he looked around, the people he saw doing the actual work of serving the poor were Catholic!
Shayne also began to recognize that the most genuinely happy people were, as he puts it: “my friends from where I grew up, the dumb rednecks who got married early and went to church!” He recognized that these people were not just happy, but also fulfilled in their lives. He decided to leave the bubble of his online community and start living in reality so he could really help people. After a period of searching and openness to God, Shayne ended up becoming Catholic. He describes the Church as a place where he found real, beautiful community, forgiveness, a moral framework for life, an outlet for community outreach, a place where he could talk about his issues and be challenged and guided.
The way Shayne speaks about the peace, joy, and fulfillment he now has as a card-carrying Catholic is amazing. I find it inspiring to listen to people share about their journeys into the Church because it helps remind me about the treasure I have as a member of the Body of Christ. It is all too easy for us to be complacent in our faith, to take for granted the great blessings Jesus gives to all of us who are members of this great family which is the Church!
For many of us who have been members of the Church all our lives, we may find our attitude being somewhat like that of the older son in the parable from today’s Gospel. We have that attitude of entitlement. When we hear stories of people having a great conversion and a deep experience of the Father in the midst of the Church, maybe there’s a little bit of skepticism, or even resentment. We think to ourselves, who is this person to be part of my Church? He’s done some incredibly sinful things in his life! Is God really that generous to have this guy be part of the family? And then it is easy to fall into the comparison game. We think, if this person had such a dramatic experience of God and such a huge turnaround, why haven’t I experienced something like that? We may be tempted to write those dramatic stories off.
This is the exact attitude of the older brother. He is so focused on working hard for his dad and doing all the right things, that he has turned their relationship into something totally transactional. The Father has to remind him: “everything I have is yours!” The older son has twisted his relationship with the Father so much that he is unable to enjoy the Father’s bounty.
How often we, as Catholics, with everything available to us–daily Mass, the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the community of the parish, Sacred Scripture, daily prayer–are still unhappy! We check off the minimum boxes: we go to Mass on Sundays, go to Reconciliation once a year, put money in the basket. But we miss how much more the Father is calling us to receive: an ever deeper, more loving relationship with Him and our neighbor. Sometimes it takes someone being in a deep, dark hole in order to realize their need for those loving relationships. But it’s equally possible to have that depth of relationship readily available at our fingertips, yet fail to enter into those depths and just stay at the surface.
Prodigal son stories like Shayne’s remind us that we are made for more than just the self-centered life. He lived that way apart from the Father for many years, but only found fulfillment when he returned to the Father’s house. And when he returned, he jumped in with both feet and found fulfillment in His relationship with God and his neighbor. If you find yourself far from the Father, like the prodigal son, don’t be afraid to come back and embrace His Divine Mercy. Take up the adventure of trying to live in His grace and allow Him to change you. If you’ve been away from Confession for some time, now is the time to come back! The Father is waiting there for you, looking to throw His arms around you and shower you with the grace of the Holy Spirit pouring forth from His Son’s open heart on the Cross!
If you find yourself in the spot of the older brother, in the Father’s house but complacent and unfruitful, the Father is begging you to come to the Feast! Dive in more deeply, let the richness of the Father’s house be your daily food! Don’t stay at the surface, don’t do things just to check a box and earn the Father’s love. Receive His love and let yourself be changed by it! The world needs people who are grateful participants in the Feast of the Father’s love!
Look at what you have here, brothers and sisters! The Lord of the universe is about to hide Himself under the appearance of bread and wine so you can eat Him and participate in His Divine Life which conquered death! What more is there!? Embrace the Feast! Let Jesus change your heart and enflame it so you can live your faith in every part of life with joy. Let Him draw you to love others more radically, to serve the poor more generously, and to give your heart to God in prayer. Let him draw you away from self-centered misery to the joy of living and loving Him and others! Jesus says to you and me: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full.”
+ Heavenly Father, help us to constantly return to the feast that you prepare for us in your house, the Church. Jesus, thank you for the gift of your grace in all the Sacraments, above all in the Feast of the Eucharist. Holy Spirit, help us enter more deeply into the riches of the Church as we continue our Lenten journey. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen. +