Let’s begin by inviting the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts.
+ Come, Holy Spirit. +
Today, I want to compare two men: an author and a priest. The author is someone known all over the world for his fiction and nonfiction books. In his autobiography, he talks about the various different factors that led him down a path of walking away from Christianity as a young teenager. A woman at the boarding school he attended introduced him to the idea that the spiritual world was something very vague and unknowable, which contrasted greatly from the well defined spiritual world of his Christian upbringing. This seemed enticing to his young mind. Also, there was his ongoing sense that the world was set against him–that knots would remain too tight to untie, or that those he wanted to tie would remain loose. This encouraged him toward a pessimistic view of the world. He began to think that the most anyone could look forward to as an adult was a fairly boring and monotonous life of hard work. All of these things and more led him to a place where he decided to walk away from his Christian faith. As he writes in his autobiography: “And so, little by little, with fluctuations which I cannot now trace, I became an apostate, dropping my faith with no sense of loss but with the greatest relief.”
That may seem like quite an odd thing to talk about in a homily, but stick with me. We will come back to this author later.
Now, let’s consider the priest. This priest had quite a difficult life growing up, but came to know the love of Jesus and the intercession of the Blessed Mother in powerful ways in his life. He experienced some profound miracles and was able, by God’s grace, to recover from a life of drug addiction to eventually be ordained a priest. Over time, he became very well known all over the U.S. as a national speaker. I can remember being very impressed as a college student listening to his talks on Catholic radio. My friends and I laughed at how intense he sometimes was, but since his intensity seemed directed toward spreading the Gospel, it was something we respected. He often encouraged young men to consider vocations to the priesthood and I can still hear his voice saying: “Answer the call, young men, for it is God himself who calls you!” He was an inspiration to me and many other Catholics.
So given these two men, who would you think had the most enduring influence on my life? The priest or the author? Based on what you have heard so far, you would probably be inclined to say it was the priest. But you would be wrong.
Unfortunately, not too many years after I heard his encouraging words about answering God’s call, I heard that this priest had decided to abandon the priesthood. And if I am honest, it was a pretty heartbreaking thing for me. Shortly before his twentieth anniversary of ordination as a priest, he wrote this in a Facebook post:
“All things change, only God stays the same, so I have to tell you about a major change in my life. I am not going to be involved in public ministry as a priest any longer. There are certain persons in authority in the Church that want me gone, and I shall be gone. I have been guilty of many things in the course of my life, and could easily and justifiably be considered unfit to engage in public ministry as a priest. The present complaint that you have heard about is, as far as I know, from the one person that I can honestly say I did more to help and support than any human being in my entire life. I forgive her and hope only good things for her. I am not going to get into a back and forth or argument with the Church or anyone else about this matter.”
This statement came as a result of allegations made against him by an adult woman with whom he had worked closely. The allegations were never proven true, and in addition, this priest’s reaction to them only increased the shockwaves in the Catholic community.
Whew! Heavy stuff in today’s homily. I have prayed for that priest often in the years since he made that announcement. But let’s now return to the author who abandoned his Christian faith as a teen.
As it happens, that author was named Clive–Clive Staples Lewis–better known as C.S. Lewis, an author known all over the world today for his beautiful fiction books including The Chronicles of Narnia, as well as his nonfiction books about the Christian faith. Even though he walked away from Christianity as a teen, God never stopped pursuing C.S. Lewis’ heart, and eventually, reluctantly, but sincerely, he came back to God. By the end of his life, he was one of the most beloved and well known Christian authors of the twentieth century.
As C.S. Lewis lay on his deathbed, he received a letter from a boy telling him how much he enjoyed his Narnia series. And even as he lay dying, C.S. Lewis took the time to write these kind words to that boy: “To begin with, may I congratulate you on writing such a remarkably good letter; I certainly could not have written it at your age. And to go on with, thank you for telling me that you like my books, a thing an author is always pleased to hear.” These are the words of a humble man, one whose faith made him gracious and kind to an unknown child–even while writing to him from his deathbed! Although C.S. Lewis had a period of unbelief, eventually he came to realize the ugliness of evil and the beauty of God and His goodness, and became an enthusiastic and articulate defender of faith in Jesus who lived out his faith humbly till the end.
Meanwhile, don’t despair about that priest. While it’s undeniable that the way he left his priestly ministry was scandalous to many people (myself included) who looked up to him as a role model, in more recent years I’ve heard that he returned to his religious community of priests to live quietly as a monk out of the public eye. So there is great hope that he can still do much good through a private life of prayer.
These two men, so different in their life trajectories, are examples of what Jesus talks about in the Gospel this Sunday: that who we are on the outside doesn’t always match who we are on the inside. Jesus compares the two men who lift up prayers in the synagogue–one who is full of exterior good works but has a heart full of pride, and one who doesn’t have many obvious exterior good works but whose heart is humble before God. And we know who leaves that church justified.
The problem with the Pharisee wasn’t what he was doing. He was doing lots of good things: fasting, praying and giving money to God through tithing. But all of these things were done as a way to build himself up. They were manifestations not of a humble heart, but a prideful heart looking to justify itself. This was a problem because his works, while good in themselves, were not good for this Pharisee because he lacked the humility to do them from a place of love. That’s not to downplay the things he did, but his works weren’t taking him closer to God, but farther from Him. Jesus even points out that the Pharisee’s prayer is addressed to himself! We all struggle with this very real temptation. Even someone like that priest I talked about, who did many good things in the church. Obviously I can’t presume to judge his heart, but his public fall from grace seemed to indicate struggles with pride and other sins. Again, praise God that he now seems reconciled to the Church.
Returning to Jesus’ teaching, the tax collector Jesus talks about was well aware of his shortcomings, and humbly admitted them before God. His humility opened him up to a genuine love of God, through which he begged for mercy. When we humbly acknowledge our shortcomings, it allows our hearts to lean into God’s mercy and thus be healed and set free to love. We can see that freedom in C.S. Lewis, who by all evidence lived and promoted faith in Jesus from a place of humble love and gratitude, right to his dying day.
Today I suggest that you and I take an honest look into our own hearts to examine how we might resemble the Pharisee. Almost without recognizing it, we can slide into that age-old temptation to pride, going about our lives doing good with a prideful heart and selfish, self-promoting motives. None of us is exempt from that temptation. Today’s Gospel reminds us that a life full of seemingly good deeds performed with a heart full of pride won’t count for much when we stand in the revealing light of God’s judgment. The good news is, when we discover pride hidden in our hearts, the answer is right at hand. If we humbly acknowledge our sin and run to God’s merciful arms–at Mass, in prayer and in the Sacrament of Reconciliation–then our hearts start to be healed of pride and filled with humility. And that humility inspires us to do good simply out of the joy of serving others and above all, God. This is what truly changes the world! Let us pray for that joyful humility now.
+ Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us the perfect example of humility in Your Son! Jesus, help us to imitate your humble love by turning to You often and giving our hearts to You. Holy Spirit, root out any pride hiding inside that keeps us from the joy of offering humble, loving service to You and others. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen. +