Being a priest in my mid 30’s, one of the fun things in this season of my life is getting to enjoy the ‘uncle life.’ Besides my brother’s toddler and kindergartener, two of my sisters currently have babies just a few months old, so I have had a good amount of time around assorted little ones. Babies and toddlers are so precious, they’re lovable, but they’re also kinda the worst.
You know what I mean. One moment they’re grabbing your finger with their tiny hand and melting your heart, the next minute they are puking all over your new shirt. One minute they are giggling with the cutest little baby giggle you ever heard, the next they are screaming at decibels you wouldn’t think are possible from such a small human. One of the least endearing things about toddlers and babies is that they’re just so selfish! Everything is about them, they need to be fed, they need their diaper changed, they need that teething toy or they will scream till they get it! I’m just kidding, of course. Babies and toddlers aren’t that bad. Please don’t write letters to the bishop on me. I can hear them now–”Father was making fun of babies in his homily! I was so offended!”
We know that babies aren’t intentionally being selfish. They don’t have the developed brains that we do, so it is only natural for them to have the ‘getting’ mentality all the time. And when a baby becomes a toddler, that drive to get everything only increases–that set of car keys, that nice shiny knife on the table, that beautiful hair dangling in front of them, and the list goes on. They want everything and it goes immediately into the mouth.
This is nerve-wracking for us as adults, because we know that not everything our precious little ones want is good for them. But that doesn’t stop them from trying to get it. Babies and toddlers are ‘getters.’
Today, Jesus tells us a parable about two different people and their ultimate destinies, and it is pretty stark. We have the rich man, who dines sumptuously every day, and we have Lazarus, the poor man who begs for scraps at the rich man’s feet and only has dogs to lick his wounds. To his eternal discredit, the rich man doesn’t do anything for Lazarus.
The first thing to notice in the parable is that we only hear the name of one person. I think this is significant if we consider what a name entails. When we know a person’s name, this is the basis of a relationship. It implies a mutual knowledge of each other and a willingness to be available to the other person. If somebody calls out our name, we look. One of the first things we do when introducing ourselves is to tell the other person our name. It’s part of common courtesy. But the rich man is just that, an unnamed rich person, so consumed with his own riches that he doesn’t even have time to give his name to Lazarus or anyone. His self-centered heart is so wrapped up in satisfying of its own desires that it doesn’t have room for God, Lazarus, or anyone else, for that matter.
Then Jesus allows us to see the ultimate destiny of these two different people. Lazarus ends up in the comfort of Abraham’s bosom, a symbol of his being cared for by God beyond the bounds of death. This image of Lazarus drawn tight to Abraham’s chest shows that Lazarus had a relationship with the people of God, represented by Father Abraham, the patriarch of God’s chosen ones. His destiny reveals that in his heart, despite being materially poor and reduced to begging, Lazarus was open to loving others. He was connected to God’s people and to God himself. Even though he was a beggar, his heart was open to giving himself to other people and to God.
On the other side of an unbridgeable chasm is the rich man, as alone in the life to come as he was in this life because of his selfishness. He is in the self-imposed torment of Hell because he allowed his riches to consume his heart. Moreover, his selfishness cut himself off from his own family, to whom he could’ve been an example by following the commandments, such as the one in Deuteronomy 15, which says: “If one of your kindred is in need in any community in the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart nor close your hand against your kin who is in need. Instead, you shall freely open your hand and generously lend what suffices to meet that need.” But the rich man didn’t have time for that. He could have shown a good example to his siblings and opened up their hearts to giving, but he didn’t. When Lazarus begs Abraham to go to his brothers, Abraham replies: ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.'” He is reminding the rich man that he himself had actually had the opportunity to give a good example and be that living witness of the law to his brothers, and instead shut them off from God by his bad example.
This is a serious parable that I hope makes us take stock of where we are in our own hearts. There are two different types of hearts and two different types of people, those who are givers and those who are getters. Obviously, the rich man was a getter, whose only concern with other people was what he could get from them. Spiritually speaking, he was like a baby. He wanted everything for himself. This attitude is understandable in babies, but when we continue with that ‘getter’ attitude as adults, it is a spiritually deadly thing. Getters are those who fail in relationships because they are always looking at the other as a means to an end, rather than an end in themself. I bet we have all met a person or two like this in our own lives. But let’s not be too quick to judge them. If I am honest with myself, I can see ways that my heart all too often still defaults to the ‘getting’ attitude.
The prophet Amos points out people like this in the first reading: “ They drink wine from bowls and anoint themselves with the best oils; yet they are not made ill by the collapse of Joseph!” Amos is showing how ‘getters’ allow their possessions to make them unconcerned for others. He warns that “they shall be the first to go into exile, and their wanton revelry shall be done away with.” This exile in an earthly sense is an image of the eternal exile that we all risk suffering in Hell if we allow pride and selfishness to rule our hearts. Ultimately, Hell is something we choose for ourselves if we buy into the lie of the world, the flesh and the devil. The lie that says if we just satisfy all of our own desires, we will always be happy.
This attitude of getting is so destructive in our lives and is particularly insidious in our experience of the Mass. If we come to church simply to get something, we miss the fact that this is an opportunity for us to give of ourselves to the One who loves us and wants to give Himself to us in the Eucharist. But a getting heart is closed off to the Eucharist, because in selfishness we are unable to be receptive to others. We aren’t meant to get anything out of Mass, we are meant to receive Someone and give ourselves to Him!
I hope and pray that we all turn our hearts to Jesus today and ask Him to flood us with the grace that can make our hearts like His. When we look upon Jesus’ Sacred Heart on the Cross, we see where true riches lie. Jesus is stripped of everything, but He is truly rich because He is fully giving Himself for all of us. His Heart is infinitely giving, and wants to draw us into it. The more we allow Him to do this, the more it opens us to let Him love and give to others through us. And this allows us to enjoy the true riches of being connected to others and God in this life, and ultimately to be fully alive in the embrace of God in the life to come. Brothers and sisters, let us not be anonymous getters, but generous givers who are known because of our love.
+ Heavenly Father, help us not to give in to selfishness and miss out on the richness of a life lived with you and others. Jesus, by your grace, give us a deeper desire for You to give to others through us. Holy Spirit, help us to recognize how we can give ourselves more fully to others. Give us the courage to do it. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen. +