Those of you who know me pretty well know that I’m not a fan of personal conflict. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I tend to let certain issues run their course, and many times, they work themselves out. But every so often, there’s no choice but to intervene and offer some guidance, patience, and even correction. But this has to be done prayerfully, tactfully, privately if possible, and with love.
This is what these Scripture readings tell us about today. They revolve around the themes of sin, repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. But this is very difficult, and these readings can even be a bit dangerous, because no one really likes confrontation. It’s not easy to tell a person what they are doing is wrong, especially in today’s society. We usually find it much easier to tell everyone else what someone is doing wrong. Sometimes I think that’s what social media was invented for.
We all know what happens today when we try to confront sin face to face. We are told we are being judgmental. “You can’t judge me. Jesus said, ‘Judge not lest ye be judged.'” This is the modern world’s favorite Jesus quote. That’s because so many people take it to mean that we can’t tell anyone that what they are doing is gravely wrong. But is that what Jesus means? Of course not! What Jesus is saying is that we don’t have the right to judge anyone to Hell. The ultimate judgment belongs to God alone, not to us. While we must call out the sin, we cannot condemn the sinner. We’ve all heard the term “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” It’s not just a trite cliché. In its proper context, it’s a powerful truth.
However, this does not mean that we cannot judge the objective mortality of the action of someone else. There is sin which is objectively mortal. We don’t need to look any further than the Ten Commandments, which we heard Saint Paul mention in the second reading today from Romans. He also gives several lists of sins in his other letters that when un-repented keep one from entering the kingdom of Heaven. So not only should we confront grave sin, we have a duty and an obligation to do so.
The first reading from Ezekiel concerns the prophet’s obligation to warn the sinners among God’s people. The reason why he needs to do this is to bring the people to their senses and help them to confront their sinfulness. But Ezekiel has a great challenge, because he is told that if he doesn’t confront the sinner, then he is just as guilty and responsible. Now Ezekiel is a prophet and priest, entrusted with his special office to teach the People of God and warn them when they go astray. This is why the hierarchy of the Church—the pope, bishops, and priests—have such a huge responsibility in their office to guide the people of God.
But this doesn’t apply simply to the hierarchy in the Church. All of us were baptized into Christ’s threefold office of priest, king, and prophet, so each of us as Catholics have a prophetic role in society.
This is why the bishops in Ohio are asking us to take action in the time leading up to the election in November to speak out against, fight against, and vote against Issue 1, which would enshrine the “right” to abortion in the Ohio Constitution. Too often we think that our fight is only about the unborn. And we don’t want to minimize that. But we can’t lose sight of the fact that those who participate in the taking of innocent life through the sin of abortion are putting their souls at a tremendous risk. And so our fight in this battle is for the good of them—for their salvation—as well as the right to life for the unborn.
But we cannot make people follow God’s Word. Our task is simply to present it as well as we can; what others do with it is their responsibility. We prayed in the confetior at the beginning of Mass: I confess that I have sinned through my own fault … in what I have done and in what I have failed to do. If we choose to be silent, to not confront sin, then we are just as guilty.
Jesus gives us the same obligation in our gospel reading. Matthew describes the process in which a sinner could be reconciled to God and to the Church. However, he brings it down to a personal level. He tells his disciples, “If a brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Notice what Jesus says: we need to confront him alone. Then if he doesn’t listen there is a progression to lead him to the truth. Every Christian shares in this mission; as parents, as teachers, as friends and co-workers, we are called to speak God’s word to others.
Notice too, that Jesus says “If a brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault,” not “If he does something you don’t like or don’t agree with.” Jesus wants us to confront sin, not personal opinions or personal preferences. And we are not to gossip or damage another person’s reputations, but at the same time we should not allow others to remain in serious sin. As disciples of Jesus, we are to bring people to the truth, but in a charitable and Christ-like manner.
When we are correcting others, we must be careful not to be self-righteous; the ability to see the truth and give witness to it is a gift from God; it’s not something we have earned. To confront another person because of sin requires a great deal of prayer and discernment. In the Gospel of Luke Jesus said, “First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck that is in your brother’s eye.” He didn’t say don’t say anything; he does say we can’t be hypocritical about it.
And it’s important to remember that the reason to confront a person in sin is for that person’s good—not for revenge, and not to establish control or to show superiority over another person. The goal is not to take someone else down, but to build them up, for reconciliation and conversion, but also to build up the community. In other words, the correction of others can’t be done for personal reasons, but rather for a desire for the building up of Church life. But the ultimate goal isn’t for us to just get along. We need to see this from an eternal perspective. The ultimate goal for confronting sin is salvation—for others, and for us. Saint Jerome says “in saving another, salvation is gained for ourselves also.” This is all part of Catholic teaching. Three of the Spiritual Works of Mercy are: To admonish the sinner, instruct the ignorant, and to bear wrongs patiently.
But we also need to remind ourselves that we are all sinners. Sometimes, I am the one who is rebuked by another. How will I respond? I need to practice the virtue of humility and accept the rebuke when I am guilty of sin and corrected by someone else. According to Pope Benedict XVI, “All this demonstrates that we are responsible for each other in the journey of Christian life; each person, aware of his own limitations and shortcomings, is called to accept fraternal correction and to help others with this specific service.” As we sang in the Responsorial Psalm, “If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.”
God created us out of love, and it is this very love that he wants to pour into our hearts. Out of this same heart of love, Jesus calls us to help our brothers and sisters – to seek the best for them and lead them back to the Father. Sometimes this includes saying things that are difficult in order to protect and nurture their relationship with God and with the Church.
It’s not easy being a Christian. But Jesus never said it would be easy. “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me,” he says (Luke 9:23). What he does promise, if we are able to do that, is eternal life, happiness, and joy.