Are we able to bargain with God? Can we make a deal with Jesus? Well, a quick reading of today’s Gospel passage might make us think that maybe we can. The Canaanite woman seems to persist in working on Jesus until he changes his mind and grants her what she wants. And let’s be honest—how many of us have gone to pray and said something like “God, if you do this for me, I’ll never swear again!” Or “I haven’t committed this sin in three months, Lord! Please grant this request!”
That’s the way many of us want to think. When things aren’t going the way we want them to, or when we want certain things to happen, we think we know what’s best for us, and we try to convince God of that. And too often, when what we want doesn’t happen, we give up asking; we stop praying.
But a careful reading of this passage from Matthew in its context reveals something different—something much deeper than simply wearing Jesus down with our persistence. Three times it seems as if Jesus dismissed the woman—at first he didn’t even answer her, then he said he was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, and finally he referred to her as a dog. But remember that Matthew says she was a Canaanite woman. The Canaanites were some of the people that the Israelites had to drive out of the land when they arrived after the Exodus hundreds of years before. They fought against the Israelites. They were not just pagans or gentiles. They were the enemy. And it was common to call those of gentile origin “dogs” because they were considered “unclean.” Jesus even says earlier in the gospel of Matthew, “Do not give what is holy to dogs” (7:6).
But notice that in this encounter with the woman Jesus doesn’t really dismiss her. He doesn’t send her away, even after his disciples asked him to because she was basically being a bother to them. So what is going on here? What exactly is happening in this encounter between Jesus and the Canaanite woman?
Why does Jesus seem to ignore the woman at first, and seem to insult her when he does answer? I think that Jesus knew all along what he was going to do. But he needed to convince the woman in a certain way to understand just who he is. Even though she had apparently heard of Jesus and his miracles, Jesus needed to draw her deeper into the mystery of his divine identity. God works this way throughout the Scriptures, but I want to give you two examples:
The first comes from the book of Genesis, when God is walking with Abraham discussing the fate of Sodom due the grave sin of the people there. Abraham interceded countless times asking God if he would spare the city if fifty innocent people were found there. Then he asked if he would spare the city if only forty-five people were innocent. Then he asked again if there were forty, then thirty, then twenty, and finally ten innocent people there (Gn 18:16-33). Abraham was persistent in his prayer to God to intercede for the people in Sodom. God already knew what he was going to do. But it’s through the persistence of Abraham’s prayer and dialog with God that Abraham came to understand both the power and the mercy of God.
The second example is after the Israelites had fashioned the golden calf when Moses was on the mountain with the Lord. The Lord in his anger was going to wipe out the people because of their grave sin, but Moses interceded, saying: “Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, and how you swore to them by your own self, saying, ‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky; and all this land that I promised, I will give your descendants as their perpetual heritage.’ So the Lord changed his mind about the punishment he had threatened to inflict on his people” (Ex 32:13-14).
Now I don’t think that God said to Moses, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me.” God knew already knew that he would not destroy his chosen people. But he needed Moses to convince himself of God’s promises and just how merciful he is. It’s only through his persistence in prayer that he came to this understanding. And it’s the same way with this Canaanite woman in the Gospel. Because of her persistence, Jesus is able to draw out of her a fuller understanding of just who he is and his mission when his own people, the Israelites, either could not or would not. This is a teaching moment for her and for the disciples of Jesus. And so Jesus responds, “Woman, great is your faith!” He didn’t say “Great is your persistence,” or “Great is your pushiness,” or even “Great is your need.” It was her response in faith, not who she was, where she came from, or her persistence that moved Jesus to grant her wish.
So it’s not that we should pray and pray and pray thinking we’ll finally wear God down where he gets tired of us and finally says “Okay, you can have your way, just get away from me already.” But we do need to be persistent in our prayer; when we are, then we come to see the will of God more clearly, and it is us who changes, not God.
Saint Paul tells us in his first letter to the Thessalonians to “pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (5:17-18). And to the Philippians, he writes, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (4:6-7).”
So the question is how do we learn to pray with persistence, and to pray without ceasing, as Saint Paul says? Well, when I ask the question, “Why don’t people pray and come to know God?” the overwhelming majority of people say “They are too busy.” I’ve heard a number of people say that if you’re too busy to pray, then you’re too busy. My response to that is to start coming to Mass more often. Sunday Mass, obviously, and if possible, daily Mass during the week. Because when we participate in the Mass, we are getting in touch with the divine.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church, quoting Vatican II, states that we are all called to “full, active, conscious participation” in the liturgy (CCC 1141). The word liturgy itself means “the work of the people.” Not just the work of the priest, but of all of us together. It’s an “action” of the whole Christ (CCC 1136). And we participate in the sacrifice of the Mass first of all by listening to the Word of God, responding by prayers, petitions, and song, and then, strengthened by receiving the Word in Holy Communion, we take the Word out into the world to share with others. And when we contribute with “full, active, conscious participation” then the liturgy becomes more powerful, rich, and meaningful. And so does our personal prayer life.
The sacrifice of the Mass is our primary means of authentic worship and thanksgiving. And when you get right down to it, that’s what the First Commandment is all about: worship of the One True God. And when we don’t attend Mass, then our authentic prayer takes a back seat to what is our will, and not what is God’s will. So in order to pray unceasingly and persistently, we start by making our Sunday obligation to give thanks and worship the One True God.
A lot can be learned by reflecting on this Canaanite woman as an example of effective and intercessory prayer. First of all, she comes to Jesus in faith. She never questions whether he can deliver her daughter from being tormented by a demon. She shows simple trust in the authority of Jesus to be able to do what she desires, and recognizes him as “Lord, Son of David.” Second, she shows perseverance in coming to Jesus for help. His initial silence and decline of her request don’t deter her persistence. Third, she shows great humility in her encounter with Jesus. She doesn’t seem to take any offense at his comments, and accepts that, as a Canaanite, she has no claim on the God of Israel or Jesus as the Messiah.
When we are persistent in our prayer, it is our faith that allows us to persevere, and that is what gives us hope. And so we are challenged today, and in those times when we are tempted to give up, to rely on Jesus’ promise that he is with us always and he will make right what is wrong. Our faith and our will to always keep praying will help us to never lose heart.